I would say, what makes a good neighbor is if they’re very kind curious, welcoming to the community, helpful and always have a pleasant attitude.When you see them.
There are some factors with some specific boundaries. I would say good neighbors always have the best interests at heart.
They can be welcoming you to the community, very kind so they can extend the food into more of a personal or nice friendship.
Respectful in terms of noise and maintains a clean home inside and outside.
Given that they are thenpeople you would see in your mornings and afternoons, I would say good neighbors can be helpful in terms of applying any favors for each other, providing some advice to be aware of and look around for. Also, always make sure that it is a safe space.
Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.
As a kid, I wouldn’t say I was too pressured.
But I did not get the grades in the subjects that my parents approved of….
There would be harsh and negative judgment and that caused me to put so much pressure and be hard and critical in my own self-reflection.
So much so, when I got a bad grade like a C or B- in grade school to college. I would cry for an hour and say such horrible things to myself. I would want to control the outcome and when things didn’t go my way, it would feel like the end of my life.
Like…I’m so stupid, Why can’t I get this right, I have no brain 😔
The instant experience or action that led to a change was in 2024. When I was depressed for a couple after I failed a big exam and others passed. I put such a comparison and felt stupid because it was a familiar subject and I couldn’t remember from college after the pandemic.
Then my brother told me to take a trip for my self-care and get into a new environment and erase everything and live in the moment.
So I did, it was the best decision. It was like a refresh and when I got back home. I googled what I can listen to for self-care and change. Because I was not in a good state of mind, I decided to focus and start a lifestyle journey that I am still continuing.
My first 2 podcasts that helped me so much even today.
Mel Robbins
Jay Shetty
2 Quotes that helped change my thought process and still help me today.
I may not be perfect, but I am worthy – Mel Robbins
Mel Robbins discusses in her podcasts, in a lot of episodes that chasing perfection is a trap that prevents true progress and acceptance of oneself.
I took that into account because I am a people pleaser and it was for other people I needed to be perfect, and set an amazing standard that I didn’t accept myself, no one can be good or excel at everything.
The externals will never be perfect, and the goal isn’t perfection. Life is not going to go your way. You have to go your way and take life with you. Understanding this will help you be prepared for whatever may come – Jay Shetty
After hearing that on many of his podcasts episodes with experts I psychology and human behavior.
I really sat with myself. Everyone’s life has its ups and downs and you cannot control everything in life, you can only control yourself, your actions, and make yourself happy.
I am still reminding myself because as I go through the stressful and bad times, I forget. So I just write it down and remind myself what I can control and grateful for.
What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
My parents are not decorating or festive decorators, or put in the effort into making the holiday special other than going to church.
Or even coming to the festivities other than praying and giving grace.
For example, they’ve never cooked a Turkey on Thanksgiving. That’s something that I had to bring up.
I believe that decorating and sharing the festivities in going out, seeing a pumpkin patch, or going to the local farms is a tradition, and cooking turkey is a good tradition as well.
They don’t really do Christmas decorations or go around the tree. And putting up decorations to get into the Christmas spirit, I had to introduce that to make things lighter and festive.
Even with making up games something I like to put a tradition on. So we can just laugh and play with each other. They didn’t do that in their time because they didn’t celebrate Christmas festively and uniquely back in Africa.
They would randomly go around the shops and visit from sitting outside and just talk for hours.
That’s fine, but I think it’s important for me to part with my very own traditions which I see as a very nice part to invoke in the future for me and future family.
Things that bother me is when people aren’t being honest or they’re very being inconsiderate without considering the other person’s perspective.
With the dishonest issue, it’s when you know, no one is telling you the truth?
It gets me scared and cautious that they can do something bad.
For me, it’s like they’re putting on a fake face, and it’s hard to tell who they really are, but you want to keep your distance.
The other factor of being inconsiderate is that each and every person has has his or her situation that they’re dealing with that nobody knows about.
Everyone has their opinions in public and private settings. And I’ve always seen, in bad situations, people get blamed for something that they can’t control, or the other person doesn’t know about what’s going on.
A few good quotes that I’ve always learned even especially in delicate situations is…
Don’t judge a book by its cover.
You never know what somebody is going through until you walk a mile in their shoes
In my terms… romantic doesn’t have to be the big or huge grand gestures to show affection to a person.
Those are okay in a while…but not my definition
For me, it’s just the little things that do matter. Because they impact the person more than they thought, they did.
Hmm, for example, if my partner cook something from me after a long day.
Or us doing activities together that will help strengthen our bond and have great quality time.
Or even helping around and remembering just unique things about me that I forgot a long time ago that would be a good romantic gesture.
Hmm, a definition of romantic is a small or even medium gesture to show that he cares about me.
One person asked me, would you rather accept a $5000.00 designer or exclusive roses or a good evening dinner out/a nic3 trip with a small gesture with a single flower that meant something to you?
I chose the second option. Because it really reflects how the person it knows me and it’s the little stuff that we can just enjoy each other’s company.
Why would I waste money or accept something exclusive that won’t last long or that is just the basics when I can have a much more romantic and thoughtful time making more memories that last a lifetime with the person that I will love the most?
How I always expressed my gratitude, it’s something that I didn’t really pay attention before until I really got a hard look and heard a very good work famous motivation video from Steve Harvey that really changed my objective of thinking.
One thing that I always express my gratitude is by praying in the morning and at night, and I express gratitude for even the smallest things that I have right now.
Another thing that I’ve started is my new habit is writing down affirmations.
Both of them help my mental health and my attitude in the morning and when I go to bed at night, which is one of the most important times for a good day to start and end.
The Quiet Bloom 